It’s All in the Family

Posted by JakeTheSnake on September 22nd, 2008

Javier Arenas, cousin of Gilbert Arenas, has a 63 yd. interception return for a touchdown in Alabama’s 49-14 thrashing of Arkansas on Saturday.  The pickoff was the junior’s first career interception.

This saturday, they’ve got their big match-up against #3 Georgia.  In his career, Gilbert is 6-4 in the state of Georgia, so if you’re looking for a pick for the game, I’d go with the Tide.

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Gilbert’s Favorite Memories From Each Stadium

Posted by JakeTheSnake on September 15th, 2008

In honor of today being NBA Stadiums Blog Day, I give you Gilbert’s best performance at each NBA stadium.

(more…)

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Fun Facts About Bullhead Sharks

Posted by JakeTheSnake on August 13th, 2008
With the news that Gilbert is going to have some bullhead sharks as a part of his mega pool complex, I started to wonder what Gilbert is going to have to deal with once the ferocious fish are in place.  With that in mind, here are some things you may or may not have known about bullhead sharks.

  • Bullhead sharks range from 22 to 66 inches, so no one will have to live in fear of being completely devoured at Gilbert’s house, unless he invites Jerome James over, then all bets are off.
  • California bullhead sharks are described as “nocturnal, sluggish, and mostly solitary, preferring the protection of caves and shelters during the day.”  Might as well just call them Peter John Ramos sharks.
  • Bullhead sharks belong to the Heterodontiformes order.
  • Wildlife Online had this to say to anyone still living in fear that one of these sharks will attack somebody: “One should also consider that we currently know of about 483 species of shark, the vast majority of which grow to less than 2m (6ft) and are consequently not considered to be a threat to humans - a good example are the bullhead sharks (such as the Crested Bullhead, Heterodontus galeatus, pictured left).   There is no getting around the fact that sharks — and many other animals — attack humans but it is an understanding of the reasons behind these attacks and education that provide the greatest promise for being able to move forward.   Ultimately, without education we cannot hope to arrive at a situation where people understand the importance of sharks in the oceans and understand how to lower the risks of having a negative encounter with them.   There is seldom a better weapon than knowledge!”  Plus, if worse comes to worse, Gilbert always has this in his back pocket.  Not that I would advocate it, but it’s an option.
  • According to this (you have to scroll down quite a bit) bullhead sharks live predominantly in the Pacific and Indian Ocean, so it will take some time for them to get adjusted to the Eastern Time Zone.  I still have to do the math, but I’m thinking that it’ll be a lot harder for them to stay up to watch Michael Phelps.

In summary, there’s not a whole lot to worry about with Gilbert’s shark tank.  Sure, it’s a little more ambitious than your average fish bowl, but it’s nothing that should have us afraid that Gilbert will go down with a shark-related injury.  But, you already knew that, since shark attacks aren’t real anyways.

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Gilbert Has The 10th Best Selling Jersey in the NBA

Posted by JakeTheSnake on June 17th, 2008

Gilbert\'s gold jersey

On the court, Gilbert’s injuries kept him from having the kind of season that he was looking for, but he still delivered as one of the more marketable players in the NBA. Despite missing most of the season, Gilbert sold more jerseys than such star players as Dirk Nowitzki, Dwight Howard, Tracy McGrady, Paul Pierce, and Pau Gasol.

It’s interesting to note that at the Wizards’ online store that most of Gilbert’s merchandise is on sale. At first glance, it would seem that maybe the Wizards are putting them on sale to prepare for no Agent Zero next year, but if you look at Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison’s merchandise, you’ll see that most of their items are on sale as well, so I wouldn’t panic.

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What’s 75% Worth These Days?

Posted by JakeTheSnake on June 10th, 2008

After opting out of the last year of his contract, Gilbert told Ivan Carter that there’s a “75 percent chance” that he’ll be back next season.  Of course, promises with a higher percentage of certainty have fallen through, so it’s important to get a feel for what 75% odds are like.

With that in mind, here’s some examples of things with a 75% chance of happening:

  1. Baron Davis hitting a free throw (this season at least).
  2. The next American you meet is a book reader.
  3. The higher seed will win the NBA Finals under the current 2-3-2 format.
  4. A school budget being approved.
  5. That you’ll be overweight in 2015.
  6. The red snapper you just bought isn’t really red snapper.

Now that you know the odds, here’s to hoping for mislabeled seafood Gilbert’s return next year!

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